Adult only. Private by design.
How to host a play party
How to host a play party means a private adult night for people you invited. It is not a children's game night, not a video game party, and not a soft-play venue. Guests say yes or no in private, and you open the matches only after you have closed the answers and checked people in.
What it is
A play party is one invited room. Each person says yes or no in private to one other person. You never answer about your own partner. The group chat opens when someone joins, so people can talk before the door. Guests cannot message each other in private. Message host is a note only you and any co-hosts see.
You close the answers, you check people in, and then you open the matches. Matches do not appear at the moment someone walks in. When you open them, each checked-in guest sees every match where both people said yes, one person at a time. There is no single pairing for the whole room. A one-sided yes stays hidden. A private no stays private.
Guests confirm they are 18 or older. You still choose the list. There is no public calendar that fills the empty chairs.
What it is not
A key party is one shared reveal. Each person says yes or no to one photo and one name. Phones wait about ten seconds, and the room sees one person only if both of you said yes. A speed date sits people in timed rounds, and people stay dressed. A new speed date starts at five minutes a round, and the answer is about a couple: both names and one photo. A match there needs both couples to say yes.
A bed is not a yes. Whether the night stops short of intercourse with someone else, or includes it, is the limit for the night, not a room you assign. Same room or a separate room is where you are. If people may be intimate at this address, say so. If they meet here and leave together, say that instead. Couples only, or an open room, is who you invite. If you set the night so couples answer together, the invite has to say that. The usual night is one person at a time.
The night in order
Choose a play party before you promise anyone a time. The steps below are the whole night. Leave one out and the room will invent the missing rule in the hallway.
- Open the party and write the rules in your own lines.
- Invite people you know, or approve an application. One private link each. The street stays off that message until you release it.
- Guests say yes or no in private. They can change an answer until you close them.
- You close the answers. Then you check people in. Only you check people in.
- You open the matches. Each checked-in guest sees every match where both people said yes, one person at a time.
Invite people you would let in
People you already know get one private invite link. Send it by text. Ask them not to post it. The street, the floor, and the door code stay off that message until the list is finished. Email and reminders use Your event, or a public-safe name you chose.
Someone new can apply. You read the request and you decide. An application does not put someone in the room until you approve it. The invite link and the apply link are different. Do not post the invite link. A maybe does not get a link of their own, and a plus-one does not inherit one.
If you want a couple to read a short note before they ask to come, the promote page has posts you can share. Those words are for them. Your own notes stay with you. A short list is a complete night.
Write the rules before anyone answers
One line is one rule. Say the dress, the phones, and which rooms are off limits. Guests agree before they answer. If you edit a line, they agree again. A rule you only say at the door is a rule half the room missed.
Say the shape of the room in the invite, not as a surprise at the door. A straight room is couples of one man and one woman, with no singles and no same-gender couples. A bi-friendly room allows same-gender couples and does not add singles. An open room can include a single guest you named. Open describes who was invited, and it is not the same as bi-friendly. You can change that shape only before answers close. You answer the people you are open to. You never answer about your own partner.
Close the answers before the party starts. Guests can change a yes or a no until you close them. While answers are open, the two people in a couple can see each other's yes and no if you left that comparison on. You can turn it off for the whole party. Nobody else sees those answers. A yes is about a person, not a menu of acts. The limit is the lower yes in the couple.
The door is yours
The street stays hidden until you release it. Guests can see a place name earlier, so they know the area. Say the street once, as the host, when you mean for them to come. Do not put it in the group chat. Check-in opens on party day, after answers close.
Each guest has a door code and a QR pass. Guests cannot check themselves in. A co-host can help you at the door. A co-host cannot delete the party or remove you. If both partners needed to finish and one did not, do not treat that couple as ready.
If someone would rather sit out, they tell you. You do not check them in. Sitting out is a complete answer. A code in a text is a code that gets forwarded. On this night, that is how a stranger ends up at a door you have not hosted before.
What you settle before the first yes
The night is for adults only. Before the first yes, write whether the night stops short of intercourse with someone else or includes it. Soft usually means it stops short. Full means it includes intercourse with someone else. Rooms disagree on those words, so the house rules have to name the line. There is no switch that sets it for you.
On this night the list of matches does not announce the stronger yes. Each person may send one stronger yes for the party. It is still a yes to one other person, and it is not a match by itself. Checking someone in does not open the names. Arriving early does not reveal a name. People can see the guest list before the door. They do not already know a match when they arrive.
On a key party the host starts the reveal. Later rounds stay one person at a time. If both people sent the stronger yes, the reveal can say so, and that note is not a match by itself. On a speed date you can change the round length, pause a round, add time, or skip ahead. Either partner can answer until you start the next round, and either partner can update the couple photo. Breaks rotate so no couple sits out two rounds in a row. Couples you have not met yet are view only. If the speed date is open, a single answers for themselves. A singles speed date is a separate choice you make when you open the party, and the invite has to say which one you chose. Sharing contact after a match is optional.
Name the rooms that stay closed before guests arrive. If phones wait in the kitchen, put that in the rules before anyone answers. Write the end of the night, and how people get home, in the invite. If the address is a hotel, the room charge is paid to the hotel. This page will not invent that bill.
Walk it once before a real link
A test party lets you walk the night as a guest, including either partner. Test parties do not send email, push notifications, or reminders. Use one to check the rules, the chat, and the moment you open the matches. You can send one prompt the day before. That prompt is off on a test party, and it does not go out after the night has started.
If the list is short, host the short list or move the date. When the names and the rules are written, start from the host home and start the play party.
FAQ
Do people answer as a couple?
Usually no. Each person says yes or no to one other person. If you set the night so couples answer together, say that in the invite. A speed date is the night where the answer is about a couple.
Is there one pairing for the whole room?
No. You close the answers, check people in, and then open the matches. Each checked-in guest sees every match where both people said yes, one person at a time. A one-sided yes stays hidden.
Who checks people in?
Only the host. A door code and a QR pass are for the list. Guests cannot check themselves in. A co-host can help, and a co-host cannot remove you.
Can I post the invite link?
No. Send the invite link only to people you already want in the room. If someone new wants to ask, they can apply, and you decide.
When do matches show?
You open them yourself, after the answers are closed and after you have checked people in. They do not open when someone arrives.
When the list is ready, you can host a play party. You can start hosting from your own list.