Adult only. Private by design.
How to host a hotel lifestyle party
A hotel swinger party is a private adult night in a room you booked. It is one host's invited list, not a party the front desk is running, and not a takeover of the whole floor. The hotel name can go out early. The floor and the room number stay back until you release them.
The short answer
A hotel lifestyle party is a private invited night in a room you booked. If people may be intimate in the suite, say that in the invite. If the room is only where you meet and anything more happens somewhere else later, say that instead. Those are different nights. The longer note on that difference is the on-premise guide.
The night is for adults only. Guests confirm they are 18 or older. You still choose the list, and you still check people in. There is no public guest list in the lobby. The room charge is paid to the hotel.
The place name can show earlier, so people can travel. The floor and the room number are the street. Hold them until you release them. Do not put the floor in the group chat. A takeover of a block or a whole floor is a different guide. This page is one booked room.
Book the room like a house
Book it in your name. Tell the front desk only what the night needs. A suite with a door that locks is the house. The hallway is not the party, and the ice machine is not a place to meet new people.
Visitors can fly in and fly out. Locals can stay for breakfast. The list is people you invited, or people who applied and you approved. An application does not put someone in the room until you approve it. A pretty lobby does not make a stranger your guest.
Say which doors are in use before anyone packs. One suite in sight is a same-room night if you say so. A connecting door is a separate room if you say so. A bed is not a yes. Same room or a separate room is where you are. Whether the night stops short of intercourse with someone else, or includes it, is a different line. There is no switch for that line. Write it in the rules.
The floor is the street
Email and reminders say Your event, or a public-safe name you chose. The hotel name can live in the invite once you want people to book a flight or a car. The floor, the room, and the door code stay back until the list is finished.
Release the street on purpose, to the people already invited, when you mean for them to come up. Say it once, as the host. Then stop repeating it. A place name was enough for the drive. The room number is for arrival.
Group chat is one room for the time you start and the time you end. It opens when someone joins. A guest who pastes the floor into that chat hands the night to every phone in the thread. Message host is a private note to you and any co-hosts. Answer that note in the same private thread. Do not drop the room number into the group.
Only the host checks people in
A door code and a QR pass are for the people on the list. Guests cannot check themselves in. Check-in opens on party day, after answers close. The front desk is not your co-host, and a key card in the wrong hand is not check-in.
A co-host can help you run the night and can stand at the door with you. A co-host cannot delete the party or remove you. Guests cannot message each other in private. The group chat is the one shared room.
A test party lets you walk the door as a guest, including either partner, before a real link goes out. Test parties do not send email, push notifications, or reminders. Walk the floor release before you try it with friends. You can send one prompt the day before. That prompt is off on a test party, and it does not go out after the night has started.
Write the night before they travel
House rules are one line each. Dress, phones, which rooms stay closed, and what a no means after a name appears. Guests agree before they answer. If you edit a line after they agreed, they agree again. A private no stays private. A one-sided yes stays hidden. A yes is about a person, not a menu of acts. The limit is the lower yes in the couple.
Ask people to decline on Tuesday if the travel is wrong. A no in the hallway is a scene with strangers who booked the next room. While answers are open, the two people in a couple can see each other's yes and no if you left that comparison on. You can turn it off for the whole party. Nobody else sees those answers.
A key party is one shared reveal. Each person says yes or no in private to one photo and one name. When you start the reveal, phones wait about ten seconds, and the room sees one person only if both of you said yes. It does not assign a bed. A play party is a yes or no to one other person, unless the invite says couples answer together. Checking someone in does not open the matches. You close the answers, you check people in, and then you open the matches. Each checked-in guest sees every match where both people said yes, one person at a time. A speed date stays dressed. A new party starts at five minutes a round, and a match needs both couples to say yes. Those matches are people you may talk to tonight. They are not a key to the suite next door.
The hotel does not change the yes
Say the shape of the room in the invite before anyone books a flight. A straight room is couples of one man and one woman, with no singles and no same-gender couples. A bi-friendly room allows same-gender couples and does not add singles. An open room can include a single guest you named. Open is who was invited. It is not the same thing as bi-friendly. You can change that shape only before answers close. You answer the people you are open to. You never answer about your own partner.
On a play party the list of matches does not announce the stronger yes. Each person may send one stronger yes for the party. It is still a yes to one other person, and it is not a match by itself. On a key party, if both people sent the stronger yes, the reveal can say so. That note is not a match by itself. Later rounds stay one person at a time. Arriving early does not reveal a name. People can see the guest list before they come up. They do not already know a match when the elevator opens.
On a speed date you can change the round length, pause a round, add time, or skip ahead. Either partner can answer until you start the next round, and either partner can update the couple photo. Breaks rotate so no couple sits out two rounds in a row. Couples you have not met yet are view only. If the speed date is open, a single answers for themselves. A singles speed date is a separate choice you make when you open the party, and the invite has to say which one you chose. Sharing contact after a match is optional. Write the end of the night, and how people get home, in the invite.
Name which rooms in the suite stay closed before guests arrive. If phones wait in a bag by the door, put that in the rules. This page will not invent the hotel bill. A guest who books their own room pays the hotel for that room. That bill is not a ticket.
Start when the room is booked and the list is real
When the suite is in your name and the names on the list are people you would let in, start from the host home and open the page for the night you are actually hosting. Read the hosting help if a button is unclear.
FAQ
Can I name the hotel before the party?
Yes, the place name, once you want people to travel. The floor and the room number stay hidden until you release them.
Should the floor go in the group chat?
No. The floor is the street. Say it once, as the host, when you mean to release it. Do not let a guest paste it into the thread.
Who checks people in?
Only the host. A door code and a QR pass are for the list. Guests cannot check themselves in, and the front desk is not check-in. A co-host can help, and a co-host cannot remove you.
Is a hotel suite on premise?
If people may be intimate in the suite, say so. That is what on premise means here. If the room is only a place to meet and anything more happens later, somewhere else, say that. That is off premise.
Do test parties email the list?
No. Test parties do not send email, push notifications, or reminders. Use one to walk the door before a real link goes out.
When the list is ready, you can host a key party, host a play party, or host a couples speed date. You can start hosting from your own list.