Adult only. Private by design.
How a host keeps a party private
The host invites friends they'd love to have there. The street stays hidden until the host sends it. All mutual-yes matches are revealed.
The short answer
A private party stays private because the host owns the list. Your host invites friends. There is no public calendar of houses, no pin on a map, and no pool of strangers who found the night by searching the city. One private link per couple. The street, the suite, and the door code wait until the host is ready to send them.
Hotel or house, the rule is the same. A place name can show earlier, so guests know the neighborhood and can judge the drive. They do not get the address yet. Adult only. Private by design. You confirm you are 18 or older. The host still checks you in. A full house does not make the door public.
All mutual-yes matches are revealed inside that same room. A key party shows one Play Partner at the same time. A play party opens matches at check-in. A speed date opens them when the rounds end. The answers stay on the list the host already wrote. Search can find this page. It cannot find the porch.
Start with the names
The host invites friends they'd love to have there. Couples you know. Couples who are visiting, if you actually want them. Singles only if the room is open and you picked them. Keep the list short if the trust is short. A full house with someone you are still unsure about is a flatter night than a smaller room where everyone came ready.
Write the names before you write the invite. A friend of a friend from a bar is not a sure yes. If you are not sure about someone, do not send them a link. A plus-one does not get a link of their own. A vouch still has to be a name you would say out loud. The privacy of the night is the list, not a promise you type at the bottom of a text.
Say the shape of the room in the first text. Couples only, or an open room. Straight, bi-friendly, or open. Guests should know who else might be there before they pack. You will not see your own partner as someone to pick. Wait until you have heard from both people in a couple, not only the one who answered first.
Hold the street
Send the link a few days out, with the format, the day, and the shape of the room. Leave the street, the floor, and the door code out of that text. A place name is enough for someone to judge the drive. The address is for the people who are actually coming, and only when you are finished deciding.
A house and a hotel floor are different nights, and both can stay private. You know the porch, the neighbors, and the end time. You do not leave a sign on the door. You do not put the address in a group text someone will screenshot from a bar. In a hotel, you still send the tower and the floor when you are ready for people to come up, not while you are still deciding on the last couple in the lobby.
Say where people leave the car, and say when the night ends. A driveway and a downtown ramp are different plans. Name the bus or the train, or say you would rather they take a car to the corner and walk the last block. If half the list flies out the next morning, a vague end time is how they miss the airport. The city pages walk through that for a real place: Atlanta, Denver, Miami, Chicago, and Las Vegas are written as a private list, not a public night.
What email and chat are allowed to say
Email says Your event, or a public-safe name the host chose. The real party name stays in the app. A subject line that names the neighborhood and the format is plenty. A subject line that names the street is a subject line that gets forwarded.
Group chat is one room, for the timing, not for the address. Use it to say the night starts at nine and ends at one. Do not use it to drop the porch, the suite, or the door code. Message host is a private note. Only the host and co-hosts see it. Guests do not message each other in a side thread the host cannot see.
Reminders follow the same rule. A push that says the party is tonight is useful. A push that includes the map pin is a leak. If you need to change the end time, say the new time. Send the street again only to the people who still have a link. The invitation guide walks through the words. This page is about what those words are not allowed to carry.
Pick the night before you send the link
Pick the format before anyone leaves the house. All mutual-yes matches are revealed, whether that happens together, at check-in, or after the short rounds. People should pack for the night they were told. A vague invite makes them pack for the wrong evening.
- Key party. Before the party, each person privately picks who they would like to play with. You will not see your own partner as someone to pick. At the party, every match where you both said yes is revealed at the same time. You see one Play Partner: one photo and one name. No one is paired with someone they did not pick.
- Play party. You still say yes or no in private. Mutual matches are revealed when the host checks that guest in. There is no room-wide Round 1.
- Speed date. You meet each couple for about five minutes. As a couple you say yes or no. Either partner can answer, and either can change it until the host starts the next round. A match needs both couples to say yes.
Phones, photos, and the rooms that stay closed
House rules are one line each. Dress, phones, which rooms are closed, soft or full, and what a no means in the room after a match appears. Guests agree before they swipe. If you edit the rules, they agree again. A rule you only say out loud at the door is a rule half the room missed.
Phones stay down in the play space. No photos of guests. A face-down phone on a table is a house rule, not a vibe. If someone needs a photo of the parking sign, they take it outside, of the sign, and they do not include a face or a house number. The closed office stays closed. Name it in the rules so nobody has to guess which door is off limits.
A match is the floor, not a command. Anyone can slow down after a name appears. Say that in the rules if you want it said before the night. The card already did its job when both sides said yes. The rest of the evening is still a conversation. If the night feels wrong once people are in the room, they tell the host. That note stays with the host.
Only the host checks people in
A door code and a QR pass are for the list. Guests cannot check themselves in. A code in a text is a code that gets forwarded to someone who was never discussed. In a high-rise, that someone is already in the elevator. In a house, that someone is already on the porch.
Check people in yourself, or have a co-host who is on the list do it with you. A friend at the door who is not in the app is a friend who cannot see who was actually invited. If a couple arrives with someone you did not write down, they wait outside while you decide. The polite move is to have said that in the invite, so the conversation does not start on the step.
A test party lets you walk it as a guest before anyone real is invited. Test parties do not send email, push, or reminders. Walk the link, the rules, the check-in, and the reveal. Look at a mutual match. Then invite the people you would actually want in the room. Your friends are not the dress rehearsal.
If you are the guest
You get in because a host sends you a link. You do not get in by searching the city, by asking a stranger in a comment for the address, or by forwarding a code you were given for yourself. Read the format before you pack. A key party, a play party, and a speed date are three different nights.
If the invite is vague, Message host. That note is private. Decline early if the night is wrong for the two of you. Saying no in a hotel hallway puts that conversation in front of other guests. When the address arrives, treat it like the list: it is for you, not for the group chat you have with people who were not invited.
If nobody has invited you, host the people you would actually let in. The city is full of nights that are not yours. Start with the names. Hold the street. All mutual-yes matches are revealed when the format says they are. The apply page is for a host who already has a link to send. It is not a public door.
FAQ
What makes the party private?
The list. Your host invites friends. One private link per couple. The street stays hidden until the host sends it. There is no public calendar and no map of houses.
When do guests get the address?
When the host sends it. Before that they can see a place name, so they can judge the drive. They do not get the street, the floor, or the door code in the first text.
What can email say?
Your event, or a public-safe name the host chose. The real party name stays in the app. The street does not belong in the subject line or the reminder.
When are matches revealed?
All mutual-yes matches are revealed. A key party shows one Play Partner at the same time. A play party opens them at check-in. A speed date opens them when the rounds end.
Who checks people in?
Only the host. Guests show a door code or a QR pass. They cannot check themselves in. Do not forward a code.
Can I post the night to fill the room?
No. A post is how a stranger finds the block. If the list is short, host the short list. If you want a club with a public door, use the club's own site.