Adult only. Private by design.
Play party rules and etiquette
These are rules for a private adult play party. They are not the rules for a children's soft-play center, a video game, or a board-game night. You say yes or no to one person. The host closes the answers, checks guests in, and then opens the matches. A private no stays private.
Watch the play party
Write the rules before anyone answers
The host writes the house rules, and guests agree to them before they say yes or no. If the host edits a line, guests agree again. A rule that lives only in someone's head is not a rule the room can follow.
Put the night in the first note. Say it is a play party and name the day. A straight room is couples of one man and one woman, with no singles. Bi-friendly allows same-gender couples and does not add singles. An open room can include a single guest you named. Open is who was invited. It is not the same as bi-friendly. People pack for the sentence you sent. If you leave it out, they pack for a guess.
One line each is enough: dress, phones, which rooms stay closed, how far the night can go, and what a no means. Guests never pay. There is no ticket. You confirm you are 18 or older before you take part. People join when the host invites them, or when the host approves an application. An application does not put someone in the room.
What a yes and a no mean
A yes means you want that person as a match if they also say yes. It is not a compliment you are owed a reply for, and it is not a promise that anything will happen once you are in the room. A no is complete. You do not owe a reason, a joke, or a softer maybe.
A private no stays private. A yes from only one person stays hidden. Nobody is told that you passed, and the room never gets a list of the people you turned down. You can change an answer until the host closes the answers. A rushed yes at lunch can become a no after you have talked.
Do not ask other guests how they answered. The chat is for timing, the dress, and a little warmth. It is not a count of who said yes. If someone pushes you for names, change the subject or message the host. That note is private.
You answer about one person
You say yes or no to one person. Your own partner is never someone you answer about. On the usual night you are not answering about a couple as a pair. If the host set the night so couples answer together, the invite says that before anyone packs.
You answer people you are open to, still one person at a time. Their answers are theirs. Do not negotiate someone else's yes in the chat.
An open room can include a single guest because the host allowed it and named them. That person is a full guest. They get the same private no and the same door. They do not owe a couple an explanation for passing.
Partners and the answers
Have the talk at home, before you accept. Agree on what a yes means tonight, what is off the table, and who will speak up if the room feels wrong. The app cannot have that talk for you. It can keep a one-sided yes hidden from the rest of the room.
While answers are still open, and if the host left that setting on, partners can see each other's yes and no. Nobody else sees those answers. The host can turn that off for the whole party. Do not grab your partner's phone to audit them, and do not pressure them to match your list.
If you and your partner want different things, settle it before the answers close. A play party match is not a reason to abandon the person you came with. If you split up inside the house, pick a time to find each other. Leave together on purpose.
Chat is one room
The group chat opens when someone joins, so people can talk before the night starts. Guests do not message each other in private. A message to the host stays with the host and any co-hosts. Another guest does not see that thread.
Use the chat for the arrival window, the dress, and a hello. Do not paste the street. Do not post a work photo or a legal name. Do not turn a prompt into a guessing game that exposes someone's day life. If the host left daily prompts on, one line posts each day before the party starts. It does not post after the start, and it does not post on a test party.
If something feels off, message the host. If you are done, you can leave. You do not owe the chat a recap of who you declined. Saying that in the car undoes the privacy the answers were built to keep.
The door
The street stays hidden until the host releases it. A place name can show earlier, so people can judge the drive. Do not demand the street in the group chat. Email and reminders use a public-safe name, or the words Your event, instead of the real party name.
Each guest has a door code and a QR pass. Only the host checks people in. A guest cannot check themselves in, and they cannot check someone else in. A code that gets forwarded is an invitation for a person who was never discussed. If you would rather sit the night out, tell the host. No explanation is required.
A co-host can help at the door. A co-host cannot delete the party or remove the original host. Checking someone in does not open their matches. The host still has to open them.
When the matches open
Answers stay hidden until the host is ready. The host closes the answers, checks guests in, and then opens the matches. Until that moment, a yes is something only you know. Arriving early does not unlock anyone.
When the matches open, each guest who is checked in sees every match where both people said yes, one person at a time. There is no single pairing for the whole room, and there is no moment where everyone looks up at the same name. That shared moment is a key party. A play party keeps the list personal.
Treat a match as an invitation to talk, not as a claim on someone's body. Either person can slow down or stop. House rules still win. If the night has a robe, a pause word, or a room that is off limits, follow that even after both of you said yes.
In the room
A match is still a conversation. Say what you want in ordinary words. If you wanted talk and a drink, say that. If you wanted more, say that too, and hear the answer. The lower yes is the ceiling. A yes about a person is not a menu of acts.
Same room means partners stay where they can see each other. A separate room means a door can close. Those are different rules, and the invite should have named one. If it did not, stay where you can see each other. A closed door is a bigger yes, and it can wait.
Phones stay down unless the house rules say otherwise. Do not photograph people, screens, or the matches. A photo of who matched is for the invited room, not a group text with people who were not invited. The app is not a camera roll for the night.
Phrases that keep the night clear
I am going to pass. That is enough. If someone keeps asking, repeat it once and find the host. You do not have to soften it into a maybe you do not mean.
Can we slow down. Use it with a match, with your partner, or with the room. Both of you saying yes is not a timer. It got you into the conversation. It does not schedule the rest of the hour.
I need the host. Say it out loud if the chat is the wrong place. Message the host if you want it private. Co-hosts see that thread too. Another guest does not.
If you are hosting
Write rules you will actually keep. A line about consent that you ignore when a friend gets pushy teaches the room that the line was decoration. Check people in yourself. Do not hand the phone to a guest and call it done.
Release the address on purpose. Hold the street while the list is still moving. Tell the room in chat when the street is out, without pasting a guest's full name next to it. Watch messages to the host. A private note about a bad interaction is yours to handle. It is not a topic for the group chat.
Do not announce matches. Each checked-in guest sees their own list after you open it. If you start narrating who matched, you have turned a play party into a sloppy key party. Close the answers, check people in, then open the matches. There is no ticket. Guests never pay to come.
When the list and the rules are written, start from the host home, read the hosting help, and open the play party page. A test party lets you walk the night as a guest, including either partner, before anyone you know is invited. Test parties do not send email, push notifications, or reminders.
FAQ
Are these rules for a kids party or a video game?
No. These rules are for a private adult play party. A children's soft-play center, a video game, and a board-game night are different searches.
When do the matches open?
After the host closes the answers, checks guests in, and then opens the matches. Checking in by itself does not open them. A one-sided yes stays hidden.
What if I do not want to play?
Tell the host. That is a full way to sit the night out. You do not owe the room an explanation.
Can I message another guest in private?
No. The group chat is one room. A message to the host is a private note only the host and co-hosts see.
Do guests pay?
No. Guests never pay. There is no ticket.
Who checks people in?
Only the host. A guest cannot check themselves in. A co-host can help at the door and cannot delete the party or remove the original host.
Does a match mean I have to do anything?
No. A match means both people said yes. Either person can slow down or stop. House rules still apply.
When the list is ready, you can host a play party.