Adult only. Private by design.
How to vet guests for a lifestyle party
You decide who gets a link before you write the invite. A name you can say out loud, or a friend who can, is enough to consider them. A maybe stays off the list.
The short answer
Vetting is the decision before the link. You are not running a background check, and the app does not run one for you. You are asking whether you would open the door for these two people on a weeknight.
Your host invites friends. The host invites friends they'd love to have there. One private link per couple. If you cannot picture both of them in the room, do not send it.
Adult only. Private by design. You confirm you are 18 or older. The host still checks you in. A charming text does not replace a name you trust.
Who counts as known
Both people in a couple count. A yes from the partner who texts you is not a yes from the quiet one. Wait until you have heard from both, or from a friend who knows both and will say their names.
A friend of a friend needs a name, not a vibe. Ask the friend what they actually know: have they hosted them, been to their place, or only liked a photo. A screenshot of a profile is not a vouch. You do not collect photos of IDs into a group chat.
Someone you met this week can wait. The list you already trust is the party. A new name can be a coffee, or the next night, after you have talked without a countdown.
A maybe is a no
If you would hesitate when they knocked, do not send the link and hope the night sorts it out. Hesitation is the answer. You can say the list is full. You do not owe a reason that becomes gossip.
A vouch you cannot repeat out loud is not a vouch. If your friend says they are fine but will not put their own name on the invite, leave that couple off.
You can like people and still not host them. Taste, history, or a bad feeling is enough. The door is yours.
What you can ask
Ask the shape of the night they want, what is off the table, and whether they have been to a private party before. Ask the area they are coming from so you know the drive. Keep the street off that text.
Do not ask them to send a nude, a scan of a license, or a list of past partners as the price of a link. That is not vetting. That is a file you should not have.
If the answers are vague, or only one of them answers, stop. A clear couple can say what they want in a few lines.
The link comes after the yes
When you are sure, send one private link and name the format. All mutual-yes matches are revealed inside that night, for the people you already chose. The vetting does not continue as a public vote in the room.
A one-sided yes stays hidden. Guests still decide who they would like to play with after they are in. Your choice to invite them is not their choice to play.
FAQ
Do we need a background check to host?
No. You need a name you trust, or a friend who will say that name. The app does not screen strangers for you. If you do not know them, do not send a link.
Is a profile screenshot enough?
No. A photo is not a vouch. Ask the person who knows them what they actually know, and get both names in the couple.
What if only one partner replies?
Wait. A link to one half of a couple is how the other person arrives surprised. Hear from both, or do not invite them.
Can we ask for ID photos?
Do not collect photos of licenses into a chat. You are hosting friends, not building a file. If you would not want that photo of yourself in a thread, do not ask for theirs.
What do we say when the answer is no?
The list is full, or this night is not the right fit. You do not owe a critique. A short no is kinder than a maybe that becomes a link.
Does an invite mean they will play with us?
No. All mutual-yes matches are revealed for the format you picked. Your invite lets them in the door. They still choose, in private, who they want.