Adult only. Private by design.
When the host also plays
The host can match like anyone else. The door does not match itself.
The short answer
If you want to play at your own party, put yourselves on the list and say so in the invite. A match with the host is the same rule as a match with anyone else. Both sides said yes. A one-sided yes stays hidden.
Your host invites friends. The host invites friends they'd love to have there. One private link per couple. Hosting does not create a yes that the other couple did not give.
Adult only. Private by design. You confirm you are 18 or older. The host still checks you in. A private no stays private, including a no to the host.
Someone still has the door
Checking people in does not pause because the host wants to play. Agree, before anyone arrives, which of you stays reachable. If you are both in a closed room, the door is unwatched.
A late guest, a neighbor, and a couple who need to leave still need a person. Name that person in the house rules. Playing is the second job. The list is the first.
The host is not a bonus match
All mutual-yes matches are revealed, whether that happens together, at check-in, or after the short rounds. The host does not get a look at one-sided yeses, and guests do not get a look at a one-sided yes toward the host.
A key party shows one Play Partner at the same time. A play party reveals matches at check-in. A speed date is short rounds, then yes or no. If the host is in the night, say which format before people arrive. Do not add the host as an extra after the reveal.
A no to the host is ordinary
Guests can decline the host and still be welcome. Say that in the invite, in one plain sentence. Then keep it. A no to the host is not a reason to cool the rest of their night, and it is not a reason to skip check-in.
If you are the guest, you do not owe the host a softer no. Decline the match the same way you would decline anyone else. Message host if you need a private note about the door, not a debate about the match.
FAQ
Can the host be in the matching?
Yes, if they said so before the night and they are on the list. Hosting alone is not a yes from anyone else.
Does a guest have to match with the host?
No. A no to the host is an ordinary no. A one-sided yes stays hidden. A private no stays private.
Who watches the door if the host is playing?
Someone the host named before the night. If both hosts are in a closed room, the door is unwatched. Do not start until that is settled.
Should the invite say the host might play?
Yes. One sentence. Guests should know the format and that the host is on the list before they arrive.
Can the host skip check-in to go play?
No. People still get checked in by the host. A match does not replace the door.
What if we only wanted the hosts to run the night?
Say that when you answer the invite. If the plan was hosts-as-guests and that is wrong for you, decline the night. Do not sort it out in the hallway.