Adult only. Private by design.
How a host keeps one format
Pick the night before anyone gets in the car. A yes to that invite is a yes to that night, and only that night.
The short answer
A night is a key party, a play party, or a speed date. You name one before anyone leaves home. You do not announce a different one after the coats are off. People packed for the sentence you already wrote.
You invite the people you would actually let in. One private link per couple. That link is for the format you already picked. The welcome does not add a second plan, and it does not add anyone who was not invited.
Adult only. Private by design. You confirm you are 18 or older. The host still checks you in. A private no stays private. A one-sided yes stays hidden.
Why you do not switch
People talked on the drive about the night you named. They dressed for it. A yes to that invite is not a yes to a different format. If you change it in the living room, you are asking for a new yes after they have already arrived. That is a poor moment to ask.
A one-sided yes stays hidden. It stays hidden for the format you announced. You do not reopen the choices because the room feels lively, or because one couple hoped for something else. A match exists only when both sides said yes, and only inside the night you named.
Say the format out loud when people come in, in the same words that were on the invite. If someone looks unsure, pause and let them decline. A no at the door is allowed. A surprise format is not. The minute at the door is for the night you kept, not for a new one.
Two formats are two nights
If you want a speed date and a play party, those are two links and two dates. Do not run the short rounds and then tell the room the real night is starting. People who came for the rounds did not agree to the other night. Send the second invite on a day they can still say no.
A maybe on the invite is not a second format waiting in the hall. It means they have not said yes. You still host the night you named, with the people who said yes to that night. You do not hold a chair for a plan you never wrote down.
Changing the reveal halfway through is how a private yes gets treated like a public one. Keep the format, and the answers stay where they belong. A private no stays private either way. You do not read a list of yeses to make a new night out of the old one.
Name one, and keep it
A key party is one shared reveal. You start it when the room is ready. Phones wait about ten seconds. The room sees one person, only if both people said yes. A later round is still one person at a time. Your own partner is never someone you answer about. That is the whole night. It does not turn into a tour of the house after the name appears.
A play party has no pairing for the whole room. You close the answers, check people in, and then you open the matches. Checking someone in does not open the names by itself. Each checked-in guest then sees every person where both said yes, one person at a time. If you set the night so couples answer together, the invite has to say that. The usual night is one person. Do not switch to a shared reveal because the room is quiet.
A speed date is short rounds, then yes or no. A new party starts at five minutes a round, and you can change the length, pause, add time, or skip. Either partner can answer until you start the next round. A match needs both couples to say yes. The screen shows both names and one couple photo. When the rounds end, those matches open. You do not then announce that the house is now a play party.
If the invite never said which, fix it before people drive. A private note to you is how a guest asks. Only you and your co-hosts see it. Your job is to answer with one format, not with a promise to decide later. Soft usually stops short of intercourse with someone else. Full includes it. That line belongs in the house rules. It is not a second format.
Then run the night you named
Check people in yourself, or with a co-host who is already on the list. A co-host cannot delete the party or remove you as the host. Guests show a door code or a QR pass. They cannot check themselves in. On a key party, check-in opens on party day after answers close. On a play party, check-in is a step you take before you open the matches. On a speed date, the first round starts when you start it.
The street stays hidden until you send it, and the format does not change that. Email says Your event, or a public-safe name. The real party name stays off the subject line. Group chat is for the time you start and the time you end. It is not a place to float a second plan.
When the list is real, open the host home and keep the night there. The hosting help walks through the door, the answers, and the moment you open matches. This page is only the promise you do not break. Start hosting from the one format you can say out loud.
FAQ
Can one night be two formats?
No. One night is one format. If you want both, send two invites on two dates. People need a day they can still decline.
What if the room wants to switch?
The room does not outvote the invite. People said yes to the night you named. A new format needs a new yes, on a night they can still decline.
Does a maybe hold a second plan?
No. A maybe means they have not said yes. You host the format you announced, with the people who agreed to it.
When do I say it out loud?
When people arrive, in the same words as the invite. If someone is unsure, they can decline before the night starts. A private no stays private.
Does the reveal change if the mood changes?
No. A name appears only when both people said yes, and only in the way that format works. A key party shows one person after you start the reveal. A play party opens matches after you close the answers and check people in. A speed date opens them when the rounds end.
When the list is ready, you can host a key party, host a play party, or host a couples speed date. You can start hosting from your own list.