How mutual yes matching works

How it works

The short answer

A mutual yes means both people said yes. On a key party or a play party, you answer about one photo and one name. On a speed date, you answer about a couple, and you see both names and one couple photo. A one-sided yes stays hidden. The host invites the people in the room, and the answers stay inside that night.

You will not see your own partner as someone to answer about. A match exists only when the yes went both ways. A private no stays private, and it is never read out as a no.

Adult only. Private by design. You confirm you are 18 or older. The host still checks you in. Matching does not make the door public, and it does not build a guest list for the next city.

Key party

The room is the list

The host sends one private link to each couple they want in the room. Matching runs on that list, not on people who searched the city. A plus-one does not get a link of their own. If the host is not sure about someone, that person does not get a photo and a name to answer about.

Say the shape of the room in the first text. Couples only, or an open room that includes a single the host picked. Straight, bi-friendly, or open. You answer the people who are actually invited. You do not answer a stranger the app found nearby.

A place name can show early. The street, the floor, and the door code wait. Email says Your event, or a public-safe name. The real party name stays in the app. Group chat is for timing. It is not where yes and no belong.

For hosts

The same yes, three nights

The yes is private on every format. What changes is when the host opens the matches, and how many names you see. Pick the format before anyone leaves the house, so people know which night they packed for.

A key party is one shared reveal. A play party opens each guest's own matches after the host checks people in and then opens them. A speed date waits until the rounds end. The answers stay on the invited list. Read the key party, the play party, and the speed date before you pick the night.

1. Key party. You say yes or no in private to one photo and one name. Your own partner is never someone you answer about. The host starts the reveal, phones wait about ten seconds, and the room sees one person only if both said yes.
2. Play party. You say yes or no in private to one person at a time. After check-in, the host opens your matches. There is no reveal for the whole room.
3. Speed date. You meet each couple for about five minutes on a new party. You see both names and one couple photo. Either partner can answer until the host starts the next round. A match needs both couples to say yes.

Key party

Play party

Speed date

A key party shows one name

Before the party, each person privately says yes or no to one photo and one name. At the party, the host starts the reveal. Phones wait about ten seconds, then the room sees one person, and only if both said yes. Nobody is paired with someone they did not choose.

The room looks up together. If you both sent one stronger yes, the reveal can say so. That stronger yes is one per party. It is not a match by itself, and it does not override a no.

If the host set more rounds, each round is still one person. You do not get a wall of every match in the room. Other couples have their own reveal. You do not read theirs. If both partners needed to finish and one did not, that couple is not in the reveal.

Key party

A play party opens after check-in

You still say yes or no in private before the night. There is no shared reveal for the whole room. The host closes the answers, checks people in, and then opens the matches. Each checked-in guest sees every person where both said yes, one person at a time.

You can have more than one match. Those matches are yours, not a speech for the couch. A one-sided yes stays on the phone that sent it. A private no stays private.

Only the host checks people in. A door code and a QR pass are for the list. Guests cannot check themselves in, and they cannot open someone else's matches. Check-in by itself does not open the names. The host opens them after that.

Play party

A speed date answers as a couple

A new party starts at five minutes a round. The host can change the length, pause, add time, or skip. You see both names and one couple photo. As a couple you say yes or no. Either partner can answer, and either can change it until the host starts the next round. A match needs both couples to say yes.

The host opens those matches when the rounds end. You see the couples where the yes went both ways. Breaks rotate so no couple sits out two rounds in a row. Sharing a phone, an email, or a note after a match is optional.

The room can be couples, singles, couples seeking a woman, or couples seeking a man. The host names the room in the invite. The yes is still private, and it still needs both sides.

Speed date

A match is not a command

The match is the floor, not the rest of the night. Anyone can slow down after a name appears. A yes in the app means you were willing to be matched with that person. It does not mean you have to skip the conversation, skip a drink, or skip a no you find later in the room.

Say that in the house rules if you want it said out loud. Dress, phones, which rooms are closed, soft or full, and what a no means after the reveal. Guests agree before they say yes or no. If the host edits the rules, they agree again. The app will not invent the line you skipped. Soft usually stops short of intercourse with someone else, and full includes it. Rooms disagree, so the rules have to say the line. The ceiling is the lower partner's yes.

If the night feels wrong once you are in the room, tell the host. That note is private. You do not have to perform the change of mind for the couch. A match that both of you still want can continue. A match that one of you no longer wants can stop.

Consent at a lifestyle party

What stays hidden

A maybe is not a yes you forgot to send. If you are not ready, do not send a yes to be polite. A polite yes is a real yes, and it can become a match.

You will not see your own partner as someone to answer about. That is true on a key party and a play party. On a speed date you answer other couples together. While answers are open, partners can see each other's yes or no if the host left that comparison on. The host can turn it off for the whole party. Nobody else sees those answers.

Guests do not message each other in private. Message host is a note only the host and co-hosts see. Group chat is one room. A yes does not open a side thread the host cannot see.

FAQ

What the host should say first

Name the format in the first text. A key party, a play party, and a speed date open matches at different moments. People should know which one they agreed to before they pack. If you set the night so couples answer together, the invite has to say that. The usual night is one person at a time.

House rules are one line each. Dress, phones, which rooms are closed, soft or full, and what a no means in the room after a name appears. Guests agree before they say yes or no. If you edit the rules, they agree again. The match is the floor. Anyone can still slow down after the name appears.

A test party lets you walk the answers as a guest, including either partner, before anyone real is invited. Test parties do not send email, push, or reminders. Look at a match where both said yes, and look at a one-sided yes that stays quiet. Then invite the people you would actually want in the room.

Open the host app

Help for hosts

How to beat first play party nerves

FAQ